logo logo
Donate
    • Membership
    • Donate
  • Social Justice
    • Racial Justice
    • Climate Justice
    • Disability Justice
    • Economic Justice
    • Health Justice
    • Immigration
    • LGBTQ+
  • Civic News
  • Nonprofit Leadership
    • Board Governance
    • Equity-Centered Management
    • Finances
    • Fundraising
    • Human Resources
    • Organizational Culture
    • Philanthropy
    • Power Dynamics
    • Strategic Planning
    • Technology
  • CONTENT TYPES
  • Leading Edge Membership
  • Newsletters
  • Webinars

The Onion Reports: Bloodiest Election in History

Rick Cohen
November 4, 2010

November 3, 2010; Source: The Onion | It was quite a bloody election. Strange things happened in the lead up to the 2010 elections on Tuesday. Since no one cares about party platforms or policy details, the election was conducted almost entirely through television ads and snippets from interviews.

We learned that a senatorial candidate in Delaware briefly toyed with Wicca, a senatorial candidate in Kentucky may have worshiped an unknown deity named Aqua Buddha, a Congressional candidate from Florida called his opponent “Taliban Dan,” a former president did or didn’t ask a Democratic senatorial candidate who agreed or didn’t agree or agreed and disagreed simultaneously to drop out of the race and throw his support to an Independent, Tea Party activists darkly hinted that the potential defeat of their candidate for senator from Nevada would be unacceptable—those are just some of the happier moments of the campaign.

We didn’t realize that behind the scenes, November 3 turned out to be the nation’s deadliest midterm election in history. Apparently, Democratic majority leader Harry Reid pummeled minority leader Mitch McConnell with a gavel and Congressman Barney Frank smashed a bureaucrat against a marble column. Fortunately, Congressman Peter DeFazio (D-OR) survived the Congressional melee Tuesday evening and pledged to rebuild the U.S. government.

Sign up for our free newsletters

Subscribe to NPQ's newsletters to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

By signing up, you agree to our privacy policy and terms of use, and to receive messages from NPQ and our partners.

DeFazio’s memories of the bloodshed are fuzzy, including a vague memory of Charlie Rangel (D-NY) trying to strangle Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), but obviously November 3 was so upsetting that it caused some sort of temporary or selective amnesia. Sounding a little like Will Smith, he spoke from a makeshift podium amidst the detritus of the Lincoln Memorial to say, “If anybody can hear me, my name is Peter DeFazio, and I’m a member of the U.S. Congress. I—I’m not sure exactly what happened here, but I want to assure the American people that we, or rather I, will get to all of your concerns as soon as humanly possible.”

On a tape automated to play over and over, he recorded this message: “This is Peter DeFazio of Oregon’s 4th Congressional District. If there are any elected officials out there who can hear this, know that you are not alone. Come to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. as soon as you can. It’s time to start again.” Now one of DeFazio’s top priorities is to find a fertile female politician with whom to repopulate Congress.

Having defeated a rabid Tea Partier himself, DeFazio may be looking not for partisans to engage in electioneering, but nonprofits willing to do the issue advocacy needed to reawaken and rebuild Congress. How many brave nonprofits are there willing to answer DeFazio’s plaintive requests for help and companionship?—Rick Cohen

About the author
Rick Cohen

Rick joined NPQ in 2006, after almost eight years as the executive director of the National Committee for Responsive Philanthropy (NCRP). Before that he played various roles as a community worker and advisor to others doing community work. He also worked in government. Cohen pursued investigative and analytical articles, advocated for increased philanthropic giving and access for disenfranchised constituencies, and promoted increased philanthropic and nonprofit accountability.

More about: Nonprofit News

Our Voices Are Our Power.

Journalism, nonprofits, and multiracial democracy are under attack. At NPQ, we fight back by sharing stories and essential insights from nonprofit leaders and workers—and we pay every contributor.

Can you help us protect nonprofit voices?

Your support keeps truth alive when it matters most.
Every single dollar makes a difference.

Donate now
logo logo logo logo logo
See comments

You might also like
As Global Climate and Refugee Crises Accelerate, a Call for Humanity
Angely Mercado
How Nonprofits and Activists Can Oppose Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill”
Matthew Rozsa
“Unrig the Game”: Learning from Women of Color in Leadership and Social Movements
Holly Jonas
For Black Maternal Health, We Need Justice and Equity: A Conversation with Angela Doyinsola Aina
Rebekah Barber
A Group of Black Girls Commemorates Juneteenth by Walking in Harriet Tubman’s Footsteps
Rebekah Barber
In California’s Largest Landback Deal, the Yurok Tribe Reclaims Sacred Land Around Klamath River
Anita Hofschneider, Grist

Upcoming Webinars

Group Created with Sketch.
June 26th, 2:00 pm ET

From Performance Management to Mutual Commitment

Fostering a Culture of Joyful Accountability

Register
Group Created with Sketch.
July 24th, 2:00 pm ET

Organizing in Divided Times

The Relational Infrastructure We Need to Protect Democracy

Register

    
You might also like
A group of about two dozen students, many wearing blue shirts, walk in the rain in front of the US House of Representatives.
How Nonprofits and Activists Can Oppose Trump’s “Big...
Matthew Rozsa
Conservatives Attack Nonprofits on Capitol Hill
Isaiah Thompson
Glass-paneled exterior of the Microsoft building.
Microsoft Axes Free 365 Software for Nonprofits
Isaiah Thompson

Like what you see?

Subscribe to the NPQ newsletter to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

See our newsletters

By signing up, you agree to our privacy policy and terms of use, and to receive messages from NPQ and our partners.

  • About
  • Advertise
  • Careers
  • Contact
  • Copyright
  • Donate
  • Editorial Policy
  • Funders
  • Submissions

We are using cookies to give you the best experience on our website.

 

Non Profit News | Nonprofit Quarterly
Powered by  GDPR Cookie Compliance
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

Strictly Necessary Cookies

Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.

If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.