A flexible work situation, showing a mother working with a remote setup as her child sits nearby, coloring.
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The unstable infrastructure of parenting in the United States in the 21st century can be attributed to a myriad of systematic failures.On August 28, 2024, the United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy declared parental stress a public health crisis. This was a notable shift, as the impact of parenting on parents and their unmet needs has largely been absent from discussions of reproductive health in the United States. The recognition of parental stress, across the spectrum of parenting, rather than narrowly on the preconception and perinatal period, brings a long-overlooked segment of the reproductive lifespan into public health discussions: parenthood overall.

The unstable infrastructure of parenting in the United States in the 21st century can be attributed to a myriad of systematic failures, but underpinning the lack of meaningful support for parents is a fundamental lack of understanding of the developmental transition to parenthood. While it is rarely acknowledged, parents undergo their own developmental changes alongside their children. Unfortunately, we don’t recognize their process in the same ways we recognize that of the children they support.

As educators in the fields of child development and maternal development, we offer a shared vision that emphasizes the importance of addressing the interconnected needs of both children and parents to foster holistic development and wellbeing. Development is not an isolated, individual process but one that unfolds within a network of relationships. It is contingent on a social environment, which has the power to either help or hinder a person’s developmental trajectory. And as Dr. Vivek Murthy points out, the support systems in which parents raise their children have become less understanding, less supportive, and far more demanding of parental perfection than ever.

Parents deserve a developmental perspective to help them make sense of the overwhelming cascade of changes they are experiencing

Parenthood as Adult Development

Parenthood, especially for those new to it, is an inherently stressful phase of adult development that requires rapid adaptation to a high-stakes new role of caring for the life of another human being. The transition to motherhood, for example, is called matrescence and draws many parallels to the demands of adolescence. The emerging science on matrescence shows that major, multifaceted transformations take place for mothers starting from pregnancy and after giving birth—in the body and brain, cognitive capacities, friendships, financial stability, existential questioning, and overall identity. This nascent field of research tends to focus on mothers, but studies of parents of all identities are beginning to confirm what we know to be true—this significant life transition impacts all parents.

Parents deserve a developmental perspective to help them make sense of the overwhelming cascade of changes they are experiencing, just as we provide during early childhood and adolescence. That is, we must increase awareness about the various biological and psychological changes parents are undergoing, and extend that understanding into the broader ecological systems in which they are embedded. Parenthood, like all critical periods of development, is affected by how well or poorly a person is resourced, with deep implications for their life trajectories and wellbeing.

Creating Supportive Holding Environments

From our respective fields, we know the environment has a significant impact on the development of humans across the lifespan. D.W. Winnicott, 20th-century pediatrician and expert in child developmental psychology, used the term “holding environment” to refer to the context in which a baby could thrive under the care of their caregiver.

Later, the term was expanded to refer to therapeutic spaces that allowed one to move into vulnerable territory while feeling safe and seen, allowing for transformative psychological growth. In Montessori education, the “prepared environment” includes materials designed with specificity and care to meet the developmental needs of specific age ranges of children. Both the holding environment and the prepared environment are meant to scaffold learning and transformation, allowing the next phase of development to unfold as optimally as possible.

We aim to shift the onus on parents to function under suboptimal circumstances, and instead focus on creating supportive environments.

How can we provide the same thoughtfulness to an evolving parent? First, we must understand their developmental needs. For example, an adult at this stage is no longer striving for independence but is now attempting to (re)establish functional interdependence. This may be particularly challenging for parents in Western contexts such as the United States, who must eschew much of their hard-won autonomy to navigate the new territory of self-definition in relation to others—moving from “me” to “we.” In our individualist culture, parents undergoing this developmental shift often do so in isolation, with little to no assistance and, at times, with considerable resistance.

The Role of Nonprofits

We propose three key areas where the nonprofit and advocacy community can intentionally direct efforts toward nurturing the continuous learning of parents using a positive approach that honors their experiences and vital contributions. If we are to support parents at a societal level, we must systematically refine the science around parental development, understand what their fundamental needs are, and then appreciably improve the quality of their environment.

Our goal is to provide guidance to those who work with parents, helping practitioners assist parents in making more informed, confident decisions and easing the challenges they may face. In other words, we aim to shift the onus on parents to function under suboptimal circumstances and instead focus on creating supportive environments that set them up for success and greater satisfaction in their roles. Laying this groundwork not only fosters individual wellbeing but also creates conditions for families—and society as a whole—to flourish.

  1. Safety and Security

All development requires physical safety and security to ensure healthy outcomes. Yet, disrespect, neglect, being dismissed or demeaned often characterize many new parents’ experiences, as they are rapidly funneled through inadequate care provision. Even the act of childbirth can involve obstetric violence or even result in death, especially for those from marginalized racial and ethnic groups. This sets them on the path to parenthood with a fractured foundation—one that underpins all other environmental conditions affecting their wellbeing.

After the birth of a child, parents are left with a profound sense of insecurity, often expected to raise children with little to no workplace support. Of all the industrialized countries, the United States has the most limited family support policies, indicating its low regard for caregiving and, by extension, caregivers themselves. In this system, parents frequently face the difficult choice between being emotionally present for their children and working to secure financial stability for the family.

An overhaul of the reproductive healthcare and family welfare policies are long overdue. Prioritizing holistic, equitable, and culturally responsive care would welcome parents into their roles under circumstances that provide a healthy start to parenthood. Workplaces should offer paid family leave, flexible schedules, remote work options, and child care stipends, among many other practical supports—for employees balancing priorities of work and caregiving.

  1. Education and Connection

Most parents lack access to evidence-based sexual and reproductive health education programs to provide them with the information to successfully navigate the transition to parenthood. This should extend far beyond short-sighted and one-size-fits-all pregnancy prevention or childbirth education and include informed mentorship and peer support each step of the way. Easier access to more formalized educational pathways and mentorship have shown great success for youth, such as after-school or Big Brothers Big Sisters programs. Parents, too, need others with whom they can confide, commiserate, and celebrate.

In Dr. Murthy’s report, he too noted that parents often feel a pervasive sense of isolation exacerbated by the Western ideals of individualism. Reducing loneliness for new parents and helping them form new social networks is the next line of defense.

This can be achieved by reallocating funds to critical sectors that focus on community-building, such as parent-peer support groups at schools, local libraries, or other hubs where parents already have connections. Comprehensive reproductive health education in public schools will also have the added benefit of preparing young adults to understand the pathways to parenthood, should they choose to pursue it, before reaching a crisis point.

  1. Commonsense Media and Safe Role Models

One underexplored area of parents’ social environment is social media and how we can mitigate the negative impact of new technologies on parenting stress. Just as we know adolescents to be highly susceptible to social media due to their stage of brain development, parents are also at increased risk of damaging comparison. Social media is now deeply embedded in the social fabric of today’s parents, often promoting messages of perfectionism. This generation is increasingly influenced by algorithms designed to exploit their insecurities, funneling them into extreme thinking and capitalizing on their purchasing power.

The detrimental effects of social media and technology  indicate that parents should likely be protected as a vulnerable population, similarly to adolescents. Indeed, in an opinion piece for The New York Times, Dr. Murthy states that parental stress has been “compounded by an intensifying culture of comparison, often amplified online, that promotes unrealistic expectations of what parents must do.” Parents are bombarded with impossible ideologies of “successful” parenting and often perceive themselves as falling short. Educating parents about the pitfalls of social comparison in general and potential harmful effects of media can follow in the footsteps of campaigns and programs geared toward adolescence, such as Common Sense Media and Digital Citizenship.

Reimagining Parenting

In acknowledging the developmental reality of parents, we confront a profound societal oversight—one that has strained families and undermined individual wellbeing for far too long. Parenthood, particularly during its early stages, should not be a solitary struggle to overcome but a shared responsibility to support. Just as we have invested in scaffolding the growth of children and adolescents, we must extend that same care and intentionality to parents.

By prioritizing safety, connection, education, responsive healthcare, and protection from harmful cultural narratives, we can make the transition to parenthood a generative period of development—one that fosters healthier families and, by extension, healthier societies. This is a critical moment to act: to invest in evidence-based solutions, elevate parent voices, and create systems that honor the transformative and demanding nature of caregiving. In doing so, we pave the way for parents to not merely survive their roles but to thrive within them—laying a foundation for flourishing across generations.