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Bailiff 

Hear ye, hear ye. All rise for the Honorable Reparations Officer Jones.

Judge Jones 

I hereby call this court to order. Let us begin with you, Plaintiff. Do you wish to have a reliable narrator present to recount the facts of the case on your behalf?

Kayla 

I would, Your Honor.

Reliable Narrator

Your Honor, on the morning of September 1, 2021, the Plaintiff, Miss Kayla Hill, received a disturbing call from the Defendant, Mr. Evan Sartori.

Judge Jones

Please continue, Narrator.

Reliable Narrator

This call referred to a grant presented to the plaintiff by the defendant for work to be completed at the plaintiff’s discretion.

Judge Jones

For what sort of work?

Reliable Narrator

An art program to be created in East Ridge, Your Honor.

Judge Jones

I see. Carry on.

Reliable Narrator

After signing off on the initial grant agreement, the defendants called the plaintiff to talk about ideology, began to assert his own supposed expertise, citing various confusing sources, urging the plaintiff to change her strategy to match his.

Judge Jones

I see. What is your request, Miss Hill?

Kayla 

I request that Mr. Sartori be charged with Swinging Philanthropy Dick, Your Honor.

Judge Jones

So granted.

Evan

What? Your Honor.

Judge Jones

Mr. Sartori. Unfortunately, we see this all too often. At this point, it’s textbook, which makes this an easy case. And you, Mr. Sartori, have become a regular in my courtroom.

Evan 

But, but Your Honor…

Bailiff 

The Honorable Reparations Officer Jones hereby concludes the hearing portion of this reparations trial. We now move on to restoration.

Judge Jones

We must now find a suitable restoration for the harm introduced in this case. Miss Hill, what is your request?

Kayla 

Your Honor, I request no contact and a doubling of the grant amount.

Judge Jones

Define no contact, plaintiff?

Kayla 

No communication, either personal or professional, freedom to complete my project with the increased funds in accordance with my own strategy.

Judge Jones

Granted.

Evan 

What? Sir!

Judge Jones

Case closed, Sartori. And please, let this be the last time I see you in my courtroom.